Six days ago, I discovered that the annoying little scratchy throat and runny nose I had weren't allergies all but the Omnicron variant that has been leveling schools by the dozens around here. I've got it very mildly compared to others so though I may make light of my own experience, I know people are suffering.
I have not posted on my blog for YEARS! My niece, Jen once said, "Do people even read blogs?" Well, the evidence shows, the attention span of the American public is at Tiktok speed. Guilty. I made that "viral pasta" dish too.
As for blogging, I've never had a following. I didn't mind. It's no different than talking to myself in the Walmart produce aisle and I confess I held out a hope some vigilant kindred spirit might stumble upon my little blog and find a comfy place. So far, it's only ever been my older sister, Linda that visits. She's kind of my hero (bossy too) so that's okay. Shout out to you Linda! You are the best sister and I'm not saying that because you are my only blogging fan. Well enough. Let's blog. Who knows? Maybe this will be the stepping stone to my latent Tiktok career...
Prior to covid: for about two months I have requested an aide for just an hour in my Early Childhood/Kindergarten class. Someone who could run reading centers while I conducted small group intervention. I'm a bit of a martyr so my requests weren't demanding but this week something changed in me. I couldn't hold it back anymore. No, I didn't have an Elsa moment but I get Elsa. "It is time to test the limits and breakthrough". Of course, I don't have the knowledge I can turn people to ice if they don't do what I want. It's humbling but reality.
Okay, so how did I find my inner Elsa (cringe)? A week at home reading a book about boundaries and taking steroids. It was a powerful combination! My students deserved my school's resources as much as the older students and to not fight for them was wrong. I sent an email to my principal and I have a meeting scheduled with her and our superintendent for next Tuesday. This blog post isn't about that really. Instead, it's about discovering that this old dog, is still using the very tricks that used to get her into trouble during graduate school with her beloved professor. I AM BETTER THAN THIS! And, at 58 I am not too old to get better.
In trying to be ready for the meeting, I gathered evidence to show that I have brought my "A-game" to class every day.
Looks good, huh? I spent about an hour turning those PowerPoint documents into jpegs. The whole time I was getting more excited. How could they deny my request with this evidence that I was doing everything? That despite this level of dedication and planning, my assessments were showing less than stellar results. I had to convince them that teaching reading was more than just whole group lessons. I was writing my speech while I worked. And finally? The one thing that would convince them of my dedication as a teacher. The video. Yes, I had a video I had taken in December of me teaching using on my PowerPoint slideshows that have kind of become my obsession. When I looked at it in December, I loved my engagement with my kids. I was connecting with them! If I wasn't so arthritic, I would have been high-fiving myself and doing the snoopy dance. Instead, I put the video aside and forgot about it.
For the meeting, I needed to examine every facet of it for quality and that is where I ran into some problems. First, my seating arrangement. My rowdy, though engaged, blurters are all on the right side. My quiet group is on the left. I realized how this happened. My little rowdy monkeys were so physical that I was dealing with complaints from my quiet ones that they couldn't see. However, that doesn't fix the behavior, it just allows it to continue. That is classroom management 101. You mix your loud with your quiet for a balance. I, of course, got at least a D-. No, let's be honest. I'm a veteran teacher three years from retirement. Stamp a big fat "F" on my forehead.
Next, I had become lax and fallen into the one habit my beloved college professor used to rake me over the coals about. I was teaching to one side of the room. Teachers won't even need to look at the video to figure this one out. My little rowdy ones are all on the right side and that is where most of my attention and eye contact is being directed. I'm still throwing little nuggets at my quiet ones for their awesome behavior but not much else. For privacy reasons, I had to blur my kids but If I hadn't, you would have seen, a little boy and girl at the back were starting to mess around. One of my particularly quiet boys was pulling stuff off the bottom of his shoes for close to one minute and I suspect sticking some of it in his mouth! Double shame! The only one managing to keep up with us and not get bored? Mason (I can say his name because I'm a close family friend). Mason is not the norm in this group and after some reflection, I suspect he doesn't get as much out of the lessons as he should. He just looks good to me sitting there behind my monitor.
Though I am chagrined by my flaws as a teacher, that video is going to get me an aide. It illustrates that despite doing all that work and engaging my students, whole-group lessons are only a small facet of teaching reading. Small group lessons are where the magic happens and it has always been where I shine.
Wish me luck. I'm excited to make changes and I'm planning on videotaping my lessons once a week. It feels good to see the good I'm doing but imagine how it will feel to see the improvements I will make.
If any kindred spirits made their way to my blog, I am posting links to my video clips below. Enjoy and please comment. As for my sister, Linda, you're off the hook.
