Sunday, January 4, 2015

The View from the Couch

I’m seriously considering starting a new blog entitled, "The View from the Couch." I've been sick with pneumonia  the entire Christmas holiday and have spent most of my time-on the couch. As a kindergarten teacher, I am always on the go and never seem to have time for myself. A  doctor ordered rest time was initially, a treat. However, as my mother was fond of saying, too much of a good thing is never good. So after almost two weeks of rest and relaxation, here is my view from the couch.

We live in a day and age when you don't really have to leave the house to be entertained. On my iPad the world can come to me. Books, movies, music, games are all available at the click of a button and a little cash. Oh and if you are feeling the need for a little company, there is that to. Facebook is always waiting.
In the past few days, I have experienced something that previously, I had only read about in historical romance novels.   “Ennui”.  For those of you who have never read a historical romance novel and are scratching your head, saying,“En-whut?!”, Webster defines it as, “a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom.”
And so there you have it. My pneumonia has been replaced by this new malady. From the couch I have discovered that though "pin therapy" is occasionally good for what ails you, it can leave you feeling a bit of a failure. In recent days, I've had to be honest with myself.  I'm never going to make that lovely embroidery hoop wall montage that I bought the materials for two years ago.  I think my lowest pinning moment came New Year’s eve when I realized I had consecutively pinned 10 cat pictures onto my, "You've Cat to be Kitten Me" board. Clever title, huh? It screams crazy cat lady.

I’ve read some. I won’t apologize for that. Mostly though, I have watched Amazon and Netflix.  I've fallen head first into entire seasons and years of T.V. shows that I previously never had time for. With nothing to distract me,  I got a little overly "invested" in the characters. I was  bereft for days when I said goodbye to Woody & Matthew on True Detectives after finishing an eight episode binge.  

I revisited favorite movies. I watched the last seven Harry Potter movies. That’s quite a time commitment, though well worth it. Though, I have read the books repeatedly and seen the movies countless times, I still cried, "Nooooooo!" when Dumbledore fell backwards from the Astrology tower. Seth thought the tears on my cheeks were quite silly. Of course I watched the movie on my ipad so he hadn’t been a part of the emotional rollercoaster I had been on for all those days.
Whenever I needed a break from movies, games, etc and wanted to reconnect with people (The irony of that statement is not lost on me), I checked out Facebook. My friends are a diverse group and I love them all.  Some friends pepper their newsfeeds with happy little memes meant to encourage and they do. Others share their views, left, right and otherwise.  As for me, I hit my notifications after having ignored them for a while and found sweet encouragements to feel better. Initially this warmed my heart but then I looked over my posts of the past weeks. All were me obsessing about my health.
This spurred a mortified look at my life over the last two weeks. Is this what my life has come to? Pinning things I will never do, crying over fictional characters (It's true Dumbledore isn't real. I know…sort of) and obsessing publicly about my health?  

Despite my alarm at the turn my life has taken, I must admit I was hoping for a snow day tomorrow. Just a day to get off the couch and  prepare for school. Who am I kidding?  Though sitting on the couch for two weeks is not good, it has made one thing perfectly clear: I can never retire.
One of Kevin's Saturday morning surprises.
This is what my days would become. And Kevin—both of us retired? I would never see him! He has a routine he does every weekend and every day off. He works on some project in the house (I'm not complaining) and then when he gets bored with that, he rearranges things. It is not unusual to wake up on Saturday mornings to find my morning cereal or under garments have been reorganized for the greater good of a smooth running home.  He, of course, is asleep because he didn't go to sleep until five am. I realize to those of you whose husbands are slobs or just not domestically inclined, I sound like an unappreciative brat. I concede that point.

So anyway, school is looming tomorrow and there's not a snow flurry in site. Anyone who has ever taught kindergarten knows the importance of a well prepared classroom. My kiddos walk into class and my Christmas tree is still up (the kids weren’t the only ones who ran out the door that last day of school) and there's nothing ready and I'm going to have a very tough day. Kevin offered to go get it ready for me. While that is sooo sweet I can’t let go of the image of Kevin making a sizeable donation  to the school dumpster. The teacher hoarder in me cannot allow that even if it is for my own good. No, I will gladly accept his help but not unsupervised. I WILL get off this couch and allow the blood to painfully return to my butt and lower extremities. I will probably feel better than I have in two weeks.

I have found motivation in an old friend- Facebook. Yesterday I saw a post by the parent of a student in my class. Smiling at me from my iPad was a picture of one of my little kinder munchkins. The blanket of “ennui” that I had wrapped myself in these past weeks fell away a bit upon seeing that sweet face and I longed for the craziness of my kindergarten class. I miss my kinders and I miss my coworkers and the satisfaction that comes from work. Goodbye couch! We’ve had a couple of nice weeks but this is for the best. You look better without the dent of my butt marring your lovely length and undoubtedly my butt will benefit from this break as well.